New Moon Solar Eclipse | February 15, 2018 | 27 Aquarius 5'
Do you know what you want? Recently it was explained to me that the word “know” in that question did not necessarily mean naming it but being certain of it so that your wanting is not languishing, but thriving in all-is-wellness. You know that your desires are planted in good soil and you nurture them in confident expectation that fulfillment will emerge. As human beings we often suffer because we cannot see the good we want so desperately. We are more fixated on absence than fulfillment. Fixation on the absence via complaining or worrying amplifies the absence instead of creating the answer.
Aquarius’ keywords are “I know.” To know is to be aware, realize, be conscious and informed. It is also to notice, perceive, see, sense and recognize. I know what I want. I perceive it and see it.
The Sun has been in Aquarius for 27 days, but is new because the Moon is replenishing her light by connecting with the Sun so completely at the Eclipse that she blocks the Sun’s light from earthly view. The New Moon is a dark moon and lots of humans are afraid of the dark unknown. Many people get spooky about Eclipses, however a New Moon Eclipse faithfully and fervently enfolds your seed idea with the intention of unfurling it unless you send mixed messages.
We often say that we do not know what we want, when what we mean is that we doubt that we can have what we want. We cast about in our minds for something to want that we can believe in or see a clear path to, but these are not the things that give us passion, so we cannot get a bead on them. What we really want is relegated to silly-dream status, rationalized away, denied and ultimately, forgotten.
Do you know what you want? Do you live in the light of its certainty? Do you look forward to it confidently and happily? Do you eagerly greet the new day as a day closer to what you want? Are you living the life today that your desire calls for?
If you are focused on absence or problems or obstacles, you do not know what you want. When you are focused on absence, problems or obstacles, you literally cannot see what you want. When you cannot see yourself being and doing and having, you languor. You tire. You lack energy and inspiration. You cannot fuel or fund a desire that you doubt. This is Mars conjunct Vesta in the 10th square Venus and Neptune in Pisces in the first. Mars-Vesta in Sagittarius aspires, but if the water (feeling) it meets in Pisces is lack of belief, it evaporates in a misty haze.
A friend of a friend said she realized that her well-being isn’t about what she is going to be. Her well-being is about what she is now. This resonated with me and it fits the square that Sun, Moon, Juno and Mercury are making to Jupiter. Jupiter in Scorpio gives us great desire and reflects in people who we think must deem us worthy and grant our desires. We are not good unless the higher ups deem us worthy. My self-satisfaction increased tremendously when I hung up my climbing boots and realized that I am good, just as I am. What I consider as God fully approves of me, so I’m done. I can chill. It doesn’t mean that I don’t aspire, that I don’t have things that I want. It has just taken out the angst and the possibility that I won’t get there. It has enabled me to be head and chest up today. It feels good to not have anything to prove, even to myself. To she who expects, much is given.
Practicum
Try on for size any idea herein or elsewhere that resonates with you or rings true for you. It was my sister Deborah’s idea that I include a practice for each moon because you have to experience an idea to really know its truth. Remember that the Sun is shining in your “I know” sector. What do you know?
Let your inner being write a letter to you that begins, “This I know for sure.” Write the first thought that comes to you and continue stream of consciousness. Let me know if you are surprised by what you write. Do this as close to the New Moon day as possible.
Artwork: Stargazer by Deborah Singletary