• Inez Singletary

The Blame Game


Adam Gave Eve an Apple (Deborah Singletary)

New Moon | November 4, 2021 | 12 Scorpio 40’


I see you with my Aries eyes—with my sense of who I am. I decide who you are in relation to me and so I bring certain things out of you according to my vision. Thereby,

I attract you. I bring out of you what I see in you.


If I envision you are better than me and think that gives you power over me (including power to harm me), I might bring out of you the very thing I hope to avoid—you harm me in some way. If I want to please you and want you to look favorably upon me, what I may not realize is that I am giving away my power of self- determination to you. Trying to please you is dis-empowering and misplaced sovereignty. Could the I in this story be thinking (probably unconsciously), that you are better than me, maybe because you have more money, more education, or more status than I?


Then one day you behave in a way that is hurtful to me. Ah. I have drawn your disrespect when I had hoped for your acceptance. It feels to me that you hurt me. I blame you for the hurt because I am surprised and unprepared. I don’t have a comeback. I don’t have a defense.


I did not know what I was doing (disowning my power) when I was in the throes of it. I might even have called you forth long before you appeared in the flesh. I was not calling forth the one who might hurt me consciously, however, the great matchmaker is piecing my thoughts together with your related thoughts and arranging a rendezvous between us. You and I come together in the right place at the right time, for me to experience what feels like your wrong, and for you to experience what you need. It is not my job to determine what your life lessons are.


The New Moon is in Scorpio in the aftermath of the blaming, accusing, nursing hurt. Scorpio is a water sign that operates below consciousness. If I am skilled at the game of life, if I know that such disappointment and hurt can be revelatory, I recognize and welcome the opportunity to become aware of what I was doing in the dark because I see it in the reflection of the circumstance that hurts.


At first, it is easier and feels more satisfying, to look at the one who hurt me and blame them, to label the situation as if I am not at its core. However, it is more productive to see how I might have placed myself in target range. If I address the wound as my own, in the future, I can avoid the crosshairs of my own destruction.


This New Moon in Scorpio squares Saturn in Aquarius. If I am willing to be responsible without blame, guilt, or self-condemnation, I just might have an awakening, represented by the opposition of the Sun and Moon to Uranus in Taurus. My awakening is if I am not possessed of a sense of my own inherent value, I might fall to your contempt—contempt co-created by me.


We have a T-cross in fixed signs. Taurus, Leo, Scorpio and Aquarius are about values. Taurus is personal value and valuables, including intrinsic gifts and talents. Leo is shine value, being distinct or outstanding. Scorpio is the value and emotional evaluation of others. Aquarius is your value in society (is it important to you to be with the in-crowd, the wealthy elite, the best of the best?)


When Scorpio rises, Leo, defines the 10th house of worldly position. The Sun’s travel through Scorpio might cause you to reflect upon your shine value in the world. If the Sun square Saturn shows up as less, you might find that your self-esteem is dinged.


PRACTICUM


So, if you find yourself in need Why don't you listen to these words of heed Be a giant or grain of sand Words of wisdom, yes, I can.
You're a shining star No matter who you are Shining bright to see What you could truly be
—Earth, Wind and Fire

Write yourself an ode to your talent or a letter of recommendation touting your extra-ordinariness. And dance to You're a Shining Star by Earth, Wind and Fire




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