Full Moon | April 16, 2022 | 26 Libra 46’
Once I fell in love and thought, the god’s must be crazy, after a movie by that name. Why draw me into an experience, open it with music and poetry, just to see if I can resist? Why do it when Neptune, cosmic love, makes an aspect to my human love, Venus? Why have me meet someone when my progressed Venus is conjunct his Sun and I am bound to be attracted to him and have to deny him?
I thought I was so high and noble. We never even touched, let alone kissed; let alone got intimate. We just talked at lunch. We even talked about the possibility of getting physical, but I could not do it. I was committed to someone else who was not committed to me in the sense that he did not want to get married, and I did.
I revisited this experience to find the Jupiter-Neptune influence then, and hopefully understand the transit now. I have determined that Jupiter represents the social landscape, law and tradition, morality and religion and Neptune represents the cosmology of magic and music and tales spun by fairies.
I decided to share this experience with a nephew who happened to be visiting the day of the Jupiter Neptune conjunction. He strongly suggested that I might have rejected true love. His response startled me. “But he was married with children,” I protested. “We would have ruined so many lives!” Nephew rejected that idea. “Sometimes what we think is bad is for the highest good.” I had never had this feedback before and had never considered this possibility. Although I eventually married the one with to whom I was committed, there was a lot of polarity and power struggle in that, along with a fair amount of magnetism.
Was the woman I was so proud of for her moral piety simply a woman who cut off below the waist so that she would not be tempted to be a scarlet woman?
The universe had an answer to that question. That evening I saw a Netflix documentary called Strip Down and Rise Up, which was about the use pole dancing to get women in touch with their bodies, regardless of the shape and weight of them, and I heard women speak about the disconnect they had to their bodies and their being, their vitality and their self-appreciation. Many had the notion that sex was bad and so inhibited their sexuality in fear of misusing it.
By the time I saw the documentary, Nephew was on the plane, but before he left, he asked me to read his chart. He was born exactly one week before I met the man I denied. All the planets, with the exception of the Moon are the same! I did not know his year of birth while we were having the discussion, but I felt as if he spoke with inner authority.
You cannot follow your heart if you are cut off from your body; if you deny or distrust your feelings.
Who's to say the rules must stay the same forevermore Whoever made them had to change the rules that came before So make your own way Show the beauty within When you follow your heart
--From Cinderella II, Follow your heart
I did the best that I could 38 years ago. I don’t think I could have navigated an exploration of this relationship without guilt or shame. I am to learn the lessons that I can, and the one I glean for now is that if I knew how to follow my heart, I might have made different, possibly happier, choices.
The Moon in Libra must reflect a balanced self.
PRACTICUM
Find ways to get in touch with your body so that intuition can feed you. We have four planets in Pisces for this Full Moon, Mars, Venus, Jupiter, and Neptune. In Qabalah, Pisces is the sign of the corporeal or bodily intelligence. Pisces opposite Virgo, the sign of physical health suggests that the bodily intelligence is emotional health. In the documentary I watched, pole dancing was for fitness and for women to experience their own bodies.
I have had experience with belly dancing and intuited that its origins were not to entertain men, but to feel the pleasure of movement for self. Take a belly dancing or pole dancing class for yourself. Try some stuff from YouTube.
I have also experienced that sitting with my face to a gentle sun (eyes closed) is like a kiss that goes deep and dissolves depression.