Full Moon, Blue Moon
May 31, 2007
10 Sagittarius 32′
There’s a gospel song I love that declares, “I’m going through.” I am going to pierce the veil, keep the faith, persevere, and bear with the sorrow deemed unbearable. I am going to enter the forest in the place which is darkest for me. “I’m going through” suggests that I will be brave. I am going to face my own demons and trust that I will come through to the other side, to a land of milk and honey where I am not afraid.
Fear means anticipating that something will go wrong and trying to guard against it. This means never enjoying yourself and never enjoying life, because you cannot put your guard down. Every friend is a potential enemy. Something’s got to go wrong somewhere, because you see things going wrong all around you. You see our own plans fall apart and, heck, ultimately your own certain death. To live in fear is unskillful. Fear is the opening in your perimeter that permits the entry of forces that will take you over and imprison you, if not do away with you altogether, or take away everything that you cherish. These forces cooked up by your own imagination.
Faith guards the gate much better than fear. Faith is cool and efficient. Faith is unrattled and unperturbed. Faith is not stumped or trumped. Faith is not lured off duty or seduced into giving away the store.
We mistakenly think that to be without fear is to be foolishly unguarded. The beast thinks that being feared creates the results he wants, so he makes threatening faces, loud noises, blows smoke and steam, and makes a show of his force with the gun on the hip, the rifle on the turret, and the missiles at the ready. Come over here, and I’ll hurt you. Mess with me or mine and you will be get yours. Try to escape and you will be hunted down.
How do you get this faith if you don’t have any, if you find that there is a part of you that is beauteously spiritual, and there is an evil twin—a life of unbelief? What if you have roads not taken, projects not completed, words never said, dreams never honored, and opportunities bypassed?
You get faith by going through the gosh darn door of the better life you imagine. You get faith by daring to set out on a path and not look back. Finish the project and present it. Say the words. Honor the dreams. Seize the opportunity.
On my humble knees I beg you please, because I know you are going to receive this while the Moon is still in Scorpio, and you might be allowing yourself to be governed by fear. You might be hallucinating about some potential harmful outcome, when you could be using your mind’s eye to see the world that you want to be. I say hallucinating because it’s only going on in your mind, isn’t it? Why do you have to dwell on those things? Imagining the worst is default mode, the easy way, inertia, fear.
Look at the world that you want. Imagine the victory. Decide on love, the risk decision. You never know, you know. But you can determine to always turn whatever outcome emerges into love. Love is strong. Love is the ultimate conqueror.
You are asked to walk go on through the doors or the walls that scare you because they are the portals you have the opportunity to cross while you have full life and breath. If you get through enough of these doors, over enough of the hurdles that are a product of your own mind, you will find your faith increasing, and you will find that you are not afraid of life’s little death’s because every time you cross the portal, you find new life, deeper breath, increased peace. Your faith, rewarded repeatedly, makes faith a habit and makes you strong. The practice of crossing these little portals, make you able to go peacefully into the next phase of life at the big crossing.
You can do this. Your portals are open doors. Your borders are melting. Your hills and mountains are climbed or tunneled through. The barriers are crumbling. The bars are removed. The bans are lifted. The healing balm is working. Your hardened heart is opening and you are coming home to a peace in your soul that lets you let your enemies go, be they real or imagined. And they do go. They do not seek to harm you because you are no longer armed to harm them.
