New Moon
January 22, 2012 pst
January 23, 2012 est
2 Aquarius 42’
Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage
And then is heard no more: it is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing.“ — William Shakespeare
Recently, as the Sun approached an exact square to Saturn, I dealt with a pernicious computer virus that kept popping up. The computer had already been to the computer hospital twice, sent home only to relapse.
I spent days dealing with this crisis—a late night 90-minute telephone call and a warning not to hang up or I would lose my place and wait even longer. I slept fitfully and would wake early and unrested. Then more hours of waiting—confined to my office, the speaker phone playing some indescribable mind-jarring music at a high volume that I couldn't lower. Then another sleep-interrupted night—the problem still not solved.
The next day, I rose knowing that I could not do what I had done the day before. I was frustrated, tired, and afraid. I recognized that I had gone to bed with the problem, woke up with the problem and began the day with the problem. Adding to my distress, when I was not on the phone, I was revisiting the days of the Civil Rights Movement via television (it was Martin Luther King’s birthday). I watched the crazy images of peaceful marchers hosed down with water shooting at a force designed to put out a structural fire.
Through Oprah’s revisit of the TV series, "Roots," I saw a re-enactment of the close quarters of a slave ship, with slaves carried like cargo and I saw a slave’s back hacked with a whip as he was forced to give his slave name for his real name. Also I’ve been listening to some of the Republican candidates, and their crass approach to anything resembling truth with language that fuels fear among their constituents—the kind of fear that makes people sign over their freedoms for the sake of protection. I was mixed in an explosive cocktail. It was too much. It was weakening me.
One more thing was going on in the news—a protest to preserve and protect Internet freedom. I suspect my problem was a microcosm of this larger issue. I was spinning around like Shakespeare's idiot signifying nothing,
So I resolved to let it go.
For at least one day, I would not pressure myself to fix the situation immediately and soak in frustration. I would not sit on the phone and at the computer anxious every time the connection was lost or the technician’s approach did not work.
I re-started the day by thinking fearless thoughts, putting on some music, and dancing my way into my core.
When I have personal struggles and remember my true work is to be a contributing thinker, I counsel myself to pay attention because what I learn as I get over the obstacle may help someone else over a similar stretch of psychological road. When I approach the situation this way, the relief and the turnaround and the education begins almost immediately.
The first thing I got from releasing my struggle was relief. I exhaled. Giving up can be good.
My sister Deborah suggested that it might be time for a new computer. My first thought was old and automatic. “I can’t afford a new computer.” It began to dawn on me that the dogged determination to fix my old computer and return to safe internet access was holding onto the old way of limited thinking. The identity I was trying desperately to protect was the very identity that I am working to transcend—that of one who is limited by finances.
My computer problem is an opportunity to reconstruct this tale (Saturn opposition Jupiter).
Remember our admonition from the December New Moon: God exists to be shaped. The opportunity of this age is to learn to shape this mental stuff which becomes physical stuff.
There is a thinking stuff from which all things are made, and which, in its original state, permeates, penetrates, and fills the interspaces of the universe.
A thought in this substance produces the thing that is imaged by the thought.
A person can form things in his thought, and, by impressing his thought upon formless substance, can cause the thing he thinks about to be created. – Wallace Wattles
Wattles goes on to say,
“just because you are to cause the creation of your riches from formless substance which permeates your environment, it does not follow that [your riches] are to take shape from the atmosphere and come into being before your eyes. If you want a sewing machine, for instance, [it doesn’t mean] you are to impress the thought of a sewing machine on thinking substance until the machine is formed without hands, in the room where you sit . . . .
But if you want a sewing machine, hold the mental image of it with the most positive certainty that it is being made or is on its way to you. After once forming the thought, have the most absolute and unquestioning faith that the sewing machine is coming. Never think of it or speak of it in any other way than as being sure to arrive. Claim it as already yours.”
This is not an act of will. It is more that you learn to think that your desire is happily working toward you in the inner, hidden realm (aka ‘attraction’). You are enabled to take whatever steps are necessary on your part to receive it when it comes, because you are conditioned by faith, not fear. You learn to be an unobstructed thinker whose consciousness becomes a channel of realization.
Aquarius, an air sign and therefore mental, is the sign of solution and resolution, where problems and obstacles are literally dissolved through contemplation and meditation, which is the admission of all-knowing, all-permeating light. Aquarius is a sign associated with groups. What you think, say and do contributes to the light or darkness of the group.
I’m so glad to be reading this story. I too have been in the throws of financial limitation, worry, and fear, which weighed in psychologically; I kept reminding myself I’m being stretched and prepared for something bigger, better, and life altering. However, as funds went lower, fear rose higher; and anxiety mounted. I soon found my energy scattered and I began to entertain a vision of doubting life, the presidency, the world.
I have been watching documentaries about the expansion of war in the world because I wanted to be face some truth that was unknown to me; I wanted to exercise my right to be informed about the level of sickness our government issues in rendering others to unimaginable pain in order to maintain supremacy. I immediately felt so helpless and found myself depressed, anxious, and some what addicted to the pain body I was nursing. I kept wanting to know more about it and so I went about finding more documentaries that told the same stories by different authors whom all confirmed and enveloped my fear and anger about the future. But just recently the spell broke.
I switched the focus and put my mind on something to achieve. I realized that learning of these horrible crimes against humanity would mean nothing unless I use it to become empowered and proactive! And life is a balancing act. Everything wrong must be tempered with just as much good that is actively taking place around the world – I needed to know that the yin and yang of energy was also the cause and affect in my environment and it was up to me to balance it.
Additionally, I’ve been listening to Dr. Joyce Leary’s discussion about our collective injury as Black people, and how we have not had the opportunity to address our traumas for collective healing from all that affronts us. I feel we are at the crossroads today. On one hand we cannot afford not to know what is happening under our noses; we cannot afford to be unaware, misguided, or even afraid of knowing the truth about the kind of sick world we live in, because as Dr. Leary states “…the champions of God cannot win this war as cowards…” yet we must make choices about how we are going to navigate ourselves through this journey as we look for answers and balance over a rocky sea storm.
Yes, they want us afraid…that is why the bombs are so big. They want us to feel helpless, isolated, and hopeless – but we must shine the light from within that reinvigorates our hopes, passions, beliefs, and dreams. Our ancestors knew that their enslavement experience was evil and that they were at war; and that they had to balance all of what was good and evil in their environment in order to survive. This statement from vision carriers says…”you are conditioned by faith, not fear” and how I love that statement! I love the entire article! I love the open and frankness of the writer. It is such a strong revelation to remind us of the stuff we’re made of…is the same stuff our ancestors were made of too.
I like this post and found it very informative. Thanks – food for thought – Barbara xx
Have you been able to let go of the old form, your computer, and open for a new one? For me, this is my on-going test of my spiritual work, have I let go of the old way and, have I opened to the new?
Thanks for this definition of what Aquarius does in and for the group dynamics, with Pluto,Sun and Mars,in Leo; living in this house has been an on-going struggle of what and who Iam in the group.
Hey Laurel, I had been struggling with a slow, noisy desktop and an even slower laptop. I felt sorry for myself, then remembered that feeling sorry was no substitute for imagination.
I envisioned a plan that didn’t work, but the plan had helped calm me and I was able to envision a way to buy one.
I even found $500 I had forgotten about–a heavenly gift. Gonna get me one of those all-in-ones, so in addition to an efficient computer, I’ll have more space.
My 1 degree Aries Sun found that Sun/Saturn squaring it brought one of the best days I’ve had in years. So lucky – like magic. That included some computer magic and I got an ad on Facebook all by myself. It’s in a very limited area for now – not quite ready for the big time.
Better days ahead!
Thank you all who have responded so far. La-Rita, your story so mirrors my story! I see you get me!
Deborah, you found $500! Wowee!!
Laurel. I am in full faith for a new computer. I can see it on my desk, a wireless one has Deborah has described. No doubt that it is on the Way.
Go Mavis! So glad for your different experience. It’s reason to have faith.